We never have "time" to solve problems or assess that nagging question our brains supply us with because we're too "busy" shutting it up and staying in the assembly line with the rest of the soulless fools. The question in my mind usually being to the effect of, "Why the hell does this matter and why am I doing it?" Sadly, the brainwashed portion of my brain answers quickly and says, "Well, because this is what you are supposed to be doing." When typing this out, I see how pathetic it really is. It's a wimpy piece of paper with no support that can be blown over easily. It's a veil that seems so sinister and debilitating for some reason, though in reality, it's really very weak. It's easy to rebel once you decide to start though. That poor excuse of "supposed to" is what makes me do things that damage my soul and waste my time? It can go to hell for all i'm concerned. Each person has their own golden thread of time, so why are we all trying to ride on just one? If it's so easy to look behind the veil, to rebel against "supposed to", why doesn't it happen more often?? Fear. Those who let fear handicap them and govern their every move are those who simply cannot see past the veil. This is not just a rant about teenage rebellion or a preach about "sticking it to the man." It is something my entire existence has been feeling with a growing energy and has been trying to find a way to explain it in words so that it can be given justice. It is a letting go of everything I was ever taught to think, feel, say and believe. An experiment of erasing it all and seeing what could happen by starting over. It is a yearning to question all "normality", pick it up, and shake it out. What if what the world believes could be no other way, could in fact, be another way? What if we've just been living in this subconscious routine so long, that a true revolutionary spirit has become dormant?
Let's stop letting fear be our internal monsters.
Every part of me, belongs to me. I won't allow any part be destroyed or brainwashed.
-Olive
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